Being able to accept our faults and failures in life is probably one of the hardest things we can do. We are who we are and sometimes we just have to agree that we can’t be the best at everything. It’s easiest to point the finger at ourselves when things don’t go our way but that behaviour is will eventually destroy you psychologically. Here are 6 reasons you’re being too hard on yourself and what you can do about it.
1.You Can’t Deal With Setbacks
Setbacks are a part of life, they happen to everyone but not everyone deals with them the same way. It’s never smooth sailing and you can ask any sailor in the world. Obstacles will present themselves when you least expect it but instead of letting it beat you to the ground you need to move forward. Setbacks are usually temporary and, depending on the grade, require a few tweaks in your process to rectify them. Once you do, you’re back on track. Giving up at every bump in the way will leave you unhappy and unfulfilled, be persistent and you will reap the rewards.
2.You’re Always Blaming Yourself
If you can’t control it then you can’t blame yourself for it. I know it’s easier said than done but you can’t concentrate on things that had nothing to do with you in the first place. Whether it’s an illness in the family or your financial upbringing compared to your friends, you play with the cards you’ve been dealt. Nobody is equal on every level, some are born in a financially secure environment and others might be raised in very poor neighbourhoods. Life’s not fair and you blaming yourself for things you can’t control will only fill your mind with negativity.
3.You’re Not Content With What You Have
The grass is greener on the other side. Stop looking at your neighbors grass and take the time to appreciate yours. Living a life where you’re goal is to achieve what someone else has achieved can be very dangerous because once you reach that goal that someone else has also improved and you find yourself chasing the rabbit once again. Admiring someone else’s conquests and wanting to be successful like them is a very healthy goal to have but sometimes you have to step back and look through the rearview mirror, at your own accomplishments. Chances are somebody somewhere is looking at your life and striving to be just like you.
4.You Put Too Much Pressure on Yourself
In life, you have to take risks to succeed. With risk, however, comes failure. If you’re too scared of failure than you can’t succeed. Instead of being so stressed out every time you’re about to make a decision, ask yourself this question “what’s the worse that can happen?”. You will fail. That’s it. You will fail and, if you’re wise, you will use that failure as an opportunity to learn from it and come back stronger. Getting it wrong doesn’t mean it’s over, it just means you need to work a little bit harder next time.
The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
5.You Act Like Someone Else
Being terrified of failing is so powerful that it makes people pretend to be someone they’re not. You think that by being someone different, someone you think people will like more, you’re doing the world a favor but all that’s really doing is taking away the one thing that makes you unique, your identity. Not to mention the fact that people don’t get fooled so easily, they will see the changes in your behaviour and it will only work against you in the long run.
6.You Can’t Take a Compliment
No matter how negative you may regard yourself and how hard you are on yourself, people will look at you and see to good as well as the bad. Every once in awhile though, someone will compliment you for you humour or your looks or your achievements and these are the times you should pat yourself in the back. Accept those moments for what they are and thank that person for complimenting you, for seeing something in you that you neglect. Use those compliments as positive reinforcements to stop being so hard on yourself.
In life, there’s a time to be serious and a time to play. Too much of either is unhealthy. Life goes on no matter what happens so contemplating on your next move for too long is only going to make things harder so stop being too hard on yourself you only have one life to live.